


Puppetry of the Person

by Soraya (soraya2004), soraya2004



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Crack, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-29
Updated: 2007-12-29
Packaged: 2017-10-14 19:35:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/152724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soraya2004/pseuds/Soraya, https://archiveofourown.org/users/soraya2004/pseuds/soraya2004
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, John and Rodney can be dicks</p>
            </blockquote>





	Puppetry of the Person

They met for the first time in the Atlantis infirmary.

"Hey," John said, trying to be friendly. "I haven't seen you before. You must be new here!"

The new dick gave him a hard look. "That's probably because I've never been here before, genius," it sneered.

Oh great, John thought, one of those pissy dicks!

Ordinarily, he would have given up at that point, because usually he didn't waste time on a dick if it was, quite frankly, a _dick_! But something about this new one intrigued him. Maybe it was the accent; he had a thing about accents.

"What's your name?" he asked it.

"Rod," the dick replied.

"Huh?" John twitched a little. "That's a strange name!" And really it was, because pretty much every dick _he'd_ come across was called something like 'Sergeant' or 'Colonel', with the odd 'Turbotron' in there to liven things up a bit. "What does it mean?" he asked, curious now.

"I think it means: _I'm hard_!"

John snorted.

"What?" Rod snapped at him.

"You don't look that hard to me!"

"Well, I can't be hard all the time: it's dangerous." Then, Rod glared at him, looking decidedly pissy now. "Anyway, what's _your_ name? Or, don't you have one?"

"Actually, I do have one," John told him, feeling a little pissy himself. "It's John!"

"Perfect! Out with another hooker!"

" _Excuse me_?" John yelled, outraged.

"Well, you're not exactly straight, are you?" Rod sneered at him.

John looked down at himself. And, okay, so maybe he _did_ curve a little to the right. Still, the name-calling was a bit excessive in his opinion. He glared at Rod, ready to give him a piece of his mind when Rod just turned his metaphorical nose up at him.

***

_Above the waist, the conversation went something like this:_

"I swear I don't know why it keeps _doing_ that!"

"Look, just forget about it, Mckay," Sheppard told him easily enough. "Stuff like that happens sometimes!"

Rodney blushed, covering himself with some scrubs. "Well, it has never happened to _me_ before," he insisted.

Sheppard responded with a mild shrug. "First time for everything, I guess," Sheppard murmured.

After that, Rodney watched him go through some awkward looking stretches before he apparently decided that it was time to put some clothes on. "So," Rodney said, trying to seem cool and unruffled by what had just happened. "Do you want to grab something to eat later?"

"Sure!"

***

John didn't see Rod again for several months. In that time, as with many of his previous encounters with dick, absence made him grow a lot fonder. He wondered what Rod was getting up to, whether he was seeing anyone and whether Rod would like to see _him_. He certainly hoped so, since he'd finally accepted that, in spite of Rod's initial prickly attitude, they could just end up being great together.

John decided he was going to ask Rod out the next time he saw him.

***

The next time turned out to be in some sort of communal shower. He'd just finished an invigorating shampoo and rinse when Rod showed up looking down, grumpy and decidedly more _bald_.

"What the hell happened to your hair?" John yelled at him.

"I don't know," Rod answered, sounding very bitter about that. "I woke up this morning, and suddenly it was knives and pulling and hot wax." Rod seemed to deflate even more just talking about it. "It was all very traumatic," he complained.

"I'm sure it was," John said with feeling, thinking about his _own_ hair and never, _ever_ wanting to go through anything like that himself. "Still . . .."

"What?"

"You _do_ look good like that," John admitted very quietly.

"Really?" Rod perked up a little. "You really think so?"

"Oh yeah!" John bobbed his head, nodding his approval. "You're totally working that look."

"Well, thank-you! That's very kind of you to notice!"

When Rod smiled at him, John blushed, feeling embarrassed and excited and all kinds of happy.

***

_Above the waist:_

"Oh my God! I _knew_ it!"

"Now, Rodney, it's not what you think," Sheppard tried to explain.

But Rodney wasn't falling for that line again. "You _wanted_ them to do that to me," he yelled, so furious he could barely see straight. "That's why you went in there in the first place, and that's why you touched that thing when they told you not to! Admit it!"

"Okay, fine," Sheppard snapped. "I _did_ do it deliberately, okay? Are you happy now?"

Rodney's jaw dropped, and suddenly Sheppard looked like he was praying for the ground to open up and swallow him.

Things were very awkward for a while with neither one of them saying anything. Until Rodney cleared his throat somewhat nervously before saying, "So do you want to watch a film with me later?"

"Okay," Sheppard replied cautiously.

"My room, just the two of us," Rodney took a moment to elaborate.

Sheppard responded at once with: " _Hell_ yeah!"

***

The next time John saw Rod was about twenty minutes later. They spent some time talking and getting to know each other better. Which eventually led to kissing and some slow dancing. Then, it was on to the Tango, the Macarena and the Pasodoble, at the end of which they were both so exhausted that they fell asleep side by side.

***

_Above the waist:_

"Rodney?"

"Hmm?"

"Has it ever occurred to you that our dicks might be controlling our lives?"

Rodney promptly smacked Sheppard on the ass. "Just shut up and go to sleep!"

***

From that day, John and Rod were more or less inseparable.

The End.  



End file.
